


to the future (in which you are with me)

by raleighocean



Series: the path we choose to walk in [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, F/M, Post-War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raleighocean/pseuds/raleighocean
Summary: Byleth decided to walk a path that she came to cherish in spite of everything she has done for it. And now, that her first child is to come, she wonders too much about if she ever made one right choice.





	1. a hand that reach in the darkness

Losing herself to the sound of the waves, crashing against the shore, was the easiest thing Byleth did in the last seven years. 

There was a pleasure in just feeling through the sound the come and go of the water, as if it was something that could help her not only wash the uneasiness in the very core of her being but also wash part of all the things that tormented her at night. Byleth wasn't one to show her suffering, her own turmoil, to those she cared about because she thought it was too much to bear. But since they arrived to Brigid, there was something in the back of her head that wanted to be eased and be set free to the world to see. 

They as in  _ Dorothea  _ and her. It was still dangerous and busy for  _ Edelgard  _ nor  _ Hubert  _ to accompany both of them. 

Petra had welcomed them even before they arrived to land, meeting them mid-way mounting her wyvern and with her child attached to her chest, sleeping soundly as if the Queen of Brigid was rocking him in his chambers instead of in the air. 

With some kind of amusement, Byleth smiled lightly, the memory of Dorothea almost passing out at the sight of this clear in her mind. Oh traditions, what an amazing source of joy for those who enjoyed themselves with the sight of their loved ones' first reactions.

"You didn't change at all, did you?" a familiar voice sounded in her left side. 

"Why would I," replied Byleth back without sparing a look at her companion. "When they all still love me as I am."

"I thought your head would be fixed once we weren't one anymore, but here we are," a low chuckle that Byleth missed as if it was the sun gracing her skin. "Remind me once again why I love you too."

“I think it was about making you feel as if you were alive again,” and it was then when Byleth finally looked at the woman by her side, a big innocent smile in her lips. “Or something along the lines.”

Sothis laughed openly at that, her voice much more adult than back then. Indeed, she was an adult now so not only her voice was more calm and deep but her figure was one of a woman, instead of the child form she was used to. Her green hair was even more gorgeous, shining with the afternoon sun in a light so ethereal as she was. She still had her long hair pulled up in two ponytails, but her fringe framed her face more gracefully and less sloppy. Her curves were generous, those of a  _ mother _ , her skin looked soft and without a trace of all the battles she fought…except from the scar that showed in between her breasts until her right cleavage. 

Byleth must admit that seeing her true form, made her cherish every second she spent by Sothis' side now that, for some unknown reason, she could see her. 

Which she was glad for. 

A little frown graced Sothis' features and she closed the distance between them so she could lie her head in Byleth's shoulder and take her left hand between both of hers to play with her fingers. 

"I'm so proud of you," it was a mere whisper that made Byleth's soft heart ache. "You've become more than I've ever imagined, more than my daughter ever thought…more than you ever wished for."

"Were you proud when I washed my hands with the blood of your children…?" a mere question that was met with a tighten grip in her hand. "When I used your own _ bones _ and  _ heart _ to put an end to your bloodline?" 

"They lost the path that I taught them for centuries," a kiss in her shoulder made Lilith close her eyes heavily, one of her many burdens weighting more than she ever thought it would. "They became that of what I so hard fought against," Sothis' voice was filled with the anger of a disappointed mother. "It was all bound to end, though I wished to actually speak to them at that time before we disappeared in hopes to make Seiros see the truth."

"Imagine an amnesiac child lecturing the Archbishop about the consequences of war," Byleth chuckled, earning a light nudge in her ribs, so light that she wondered if Sothis ever did it. "What a delightful sight."

A rather big wave crashed against the shore at that moment, roaring with the might of a  _ dragon.  _ Sothis looked down to her lap before looking at  _ her  _ Byleth, wondering how she survived to all that was thrown onto her and now… 

…she got the happy ending Sothis had wanted for her. 

"They want to talk with you, you know?" Sothis said while tracing soon-forgotten patterns in the palm of her companion’s hand. “But they are not ready yet. I know that for a fact, as much as Cethleann begs me to.”

To that name, Byleth looked down to where their hands intertwined. She could still hear the high pitched scream in the distance at the same time a growl died right in front of her. Leonie still had nightmares about that as far as she knew. A heavy sigh left her parted lips and then she squeezed Sothis' hand. Byleth could include herself in not being prepared, but as always, she thought her best feature was going through things completely unprepared. 

"Is she…" started the teal haired woman, trying to swallow the knot in her throat. 

"I do not speak to her, I can not even look at her eyes yet," a tremble of anger, from memories that wasn't hers, took over the woman's body. "I don't know why you would ask for her neither." 

It's a sensitive topic, one that seems to brings Sothis more pain than she already feels and Byleth hated that. With all the care in the world, the ex-mercenary leant into her companion and kissed her forehead with love. The gesture took Sothis completely unprepared, but it made her relax…and finally say what was on her mind. 

"If you were with my child, they would have to fight me if they ever wanted me to leave your side," Sothis' left her hand over Byleth’s belly, making her feel a sudden burst of warmth spreading from there all over her body. “Us nabateans had a stronger sense of protection than agarthans over our mates.”

“Don’t be so mean, the menace is still out there,” commented Byleth with a faint smile in her lips. “Edelgard wanted to be here herself.”

“You should have waited till it was over,” there was an incoming nag in Sothis’ voice, but sadness overtook her, making her get lost in her own thoughts.

“We never expected them to resist after we cut the snake’s head off,” Byleth knew what was the woman thinking. “I won’t become a Hilda nor an Annette, Sothis, if that’s what you are thinking about.”

They didn’t need to talk about it because both were still fused when those two scenarios happened. That was why Byleth took in her hands every clash against a former student, a former  _ friend _ . She was able to see, to feel more things than the average, thanks of her connection and, still, Byleth didn’t waver when the Sword of Creation ended those lives.

Hilda was with Claude’s second child without knowing when she fell before Byleth, her relic axe broken in pieces.

Annette managed to tell her and Mercedes about Dimitri’s firstborn before drawing her last breath.

Was Byleth condemned to suffer the same fate of those who loved their respective leaders? 

She knew that the hands of everyone were bloodied, hers were damped and still reeked at times from the decisions she made for everyone’s well being. Jeralt taught her from young age to be consequent, to take care of whatever mess her decisions had made, to reach for an understanding of the situation at the same time she learnt from it. 

When the war was over, Byleth was weak but it didn’t stop her from travel, alone, all the way to Gautier’s lands to visit and set with Mercedes and Sylvain a plan to raise Orion, Dimitri and Annette’s boy, as the couple child. It didn’t stop her from going to Gloucester state to do the same with Sirius, Claude and Hilda’s kid, which a heavily injured Lorenz vowed to raise in their friend’s memory. 

As much of a demon as she was, at least she would become the  _ guardian demon _ of those two...now three, with Petra’s cub, Regulus, joining the batch of firstborns.

It made her wonder if her little pea would be able to help them three in the future.

“I put all my trust in you, dear love,” Sothis confessed, a mere whisper that brought Byleth back to the beach that was her hidden spot that day. “In her, in the dark mage at her tail and in beautiful Dorothea, who is now desperately searching for you. But I cannot stop from wondering that if I was there, you’ll probably be safer.”

That left Byleth speechless, the emotion and the spark in the woman's eyes too shiny and too strong for her to even look away. Would that be true? Or maybe they would be worse targets? A heavy stone fell in her stomach, the weight of it so heavy that Sothis' image was a bit blurry because of the upcoming tears in her eyes. 

"If you were here, we probably couldn't be together," a mumble almost lost to the sound of the sea, terrified about the possibility. "As you would have taken my body to have yours." 

Sothis wanted to say something else, watching how Byleth's eyes watered within seconds, her hands quick to cup her face. Words weren't having their way to reach for the mercenary-turned-empress, but she was still there to watch over her as much as she could. 

Trembling, she overheard steps in the distance, but she leant to press her forehead against Byleth's to comfort her, to let her know that she was there… 

…until Dorothea's voice was heard. 

"Byleth!" the fear, the soon-spilled-tears were visible in her voice. "Where are you!?" 

When Byleth opened her eyes, she was alone in the beach again, crying in silence with the ocean as her only companion. Her hands went to her belly, not sure of what she was going to do, but she made a promise to find the answer soon for the sake of the life that was growing in her. 

Dorothea kept calling out for her but she didn't replied until she felt under control again. 

Barefooted as she was, Byleth walked towards the opera singer as if she was just interrupted in the middle of her afternoon walk. Dorothea enveloped her in her arms as soon as she was close enough, trembling like an autumn leaf about to fly away with the slightest breeze. 

"I thought something happened to you," Dorothea didn't want to let go of the embrace, her face buried in teal messy curls. "Don't ever do this again…please." 

The only thing Byleth did was tightening her grip around the woman, nodding before placing a comforting kiss to her temple and then to the corner of her mouth. 

"I promise, my dear," the sweet name rolled in her tongue with the easiness of years calling her that. "Now let's get back to palace, I'm sure Petra and Regulus are waiting for us to have dinner."

Sothis, invisible for everyone except for Byleth, watched them leave the place hand in hand. She closed her hands, fists ready to  _ destroy _ anything at reach, but then she loosened her grip at the same time a new wave of sadness took over her. 

Maybe she should speak to Seiros, if she ever wanted that feeling of being  _ incomplete  _ to disappear. 


	2. someone that doesnt' pray anymore

Dorothea was only able to focus in the decorated ceiling from Lilith and her's room. 

Every design, every color was there behind the shadows of the night. The summer breeze moved the light curtains, made the songstress to scoop closer to the other body in bed, her arm finding the right place all over Lilith’s side to encircle her abdomen.

Hearing a soft sleepy giggle coming from her former teacher’s lips made Dorothea wonder how could she sleep so deeply to not notice. 

Even when she allegedly spent five years in slumber, she still couldn’t help but ask herself how she could sleep at night. Maybe it was because she wasn’t over all the nightmares that tormented her from the moment the war started till now - and probably in the near future too. Or maybe it was her head, filled with so much anxiety and dread that made her unable to rest.

Hiding her face between Lilith's shoulder blades, Dorothea muffled an incoming sob by closing her eyes really fast and pushing the little mantra Hubert taught her. 

Even there, safe and sound with two of the strongest women she knew, Dorothea couldn't help but feel she was going to burst into flames and  _ finally _ disappear. 

It was this choking sensation wrapping her in a tense cocoon that never happened to break. It was like she was feeling every single glance that her loved ones gave her as if they were judging her, waiting for the right moment to dump her, to stop from faking to love her and just keep going with their lif-

And then, Dorothea felt the softness of a kiss, stopping her chaotic train of thought.

She didn't even noticed that Lilith turned around in her arms, she didn't even notice that her own breathing was ragged and her hands were all sweaty. Opening her eyes, as if the whole world stopped, the only thing she could focus in the darkness were Lilith's soft features scrunching slightly as she sleepily wrapped her arms around her body.

"I'm here, Thea, " an even softer mumble, a new kiss pressed on top of her cheeks. "I love you, I won't leave, the war is over. You are safe...everyone is safe."

The first tears reminded her how weak she actually was in reality and also why they decided to send her with the pregnant empress off to Brigid.

What a depressed soldier could do?

Both Linhardt and Manuela, after Hubert had explained her wife's overall attitude, looked into the symptoms she had and it was all crystal clear. Marianne, sweet Marianne, had helped them get an actual report and also tried to help Dorothea the best she knew to start her healing because she knew firsthand what was happening with her. How many times had she made a dry sarcastic comment to the woman when she was just trying to help her? How many times did she deserved to be slapped for behaving so selfishly?

Dorothea managed to catch her breath and a loud sob ringed all over the room, the first of many that she tried to drown in Lilith’s chest.

“It’s not the first time I see this, yet it makes me wonder if magic could fix it.”

When Lilith first heard those words, Dorothea was fast asleep in her arms. After a couple hours of crying non stop, she finally got the rest she deserved but it also left Lilith awake. Awaken, with a new figure and another one more familiar nearby as if they were truly there.

"Uncle, I told you so many times that is not how it works," Lilith's eyes wander towards the woman, her voice a bit lower than she remembered. "You may have been the greatest tactician of all times but your physician's skills are those of a duck." A tired sigh and a couple of light green irises looked at her. "Don't listen to him, professor, too many years under the sun in Sreng fried his brain."

Flayn,  _ Cethleann,  _ looked older than she looked when she was alive, but she still had that little childish spark that was so natural in her persona. It was a pleasure in sight, her form what she would be if she was alive probably, and Lilith couldn’t help but feel her eyes water when her former student looked at her with the same curiosity she had all those years ago.

And then, there was the form of a man that she knew as a beast. 

Macuil wore almost the same robes as his statue back in the monastery, except for the cape. His features were those of maybe a man on his thirties - Lilith remembered how Seteth looked in his forties - but had something more sly mixed, his eyes similar to Sothis but lacking all the emotions the woman had. His hair was long, tied with a dark blue string, and he was cleaning his monocle with an old cloth. If he spent too much as his dragon form, the only thing left of that time was his more pronounced ears and...fangs? along with a feral twink in his green eyes.

“Why would I when I have the best one talking to me?” Lilith’s words were a mere whisper, still not knowing if she was talking inside her head or outside, where anything could wake up the woman in her arms. 

“Professor!” and there she was Flayn and not the saint, a blushing mess because of the compliment. “You didn’t change at all, did you?”

“Cethleann, we don’t have much time,” Macuil seemed rushed for some reason. “Your father can’t do wonders when it comes to your grandmother, even with your uncle’s help.”

When he spoke like that, it came to Lilith’s mind how Sothis told her last time they spent time together...almost a month ago. It immediately worried her that Flayn could get in trouble with Sothis, a sharp pain in her heart suddenly appearing, and it didn’t pass the girl what her former professor might been thinking. 

“We will be okay, don’t worry,” Flayn smiled at her with the same warmth as, what it seemed now, ages ago. “I just...well, just wanted to see you professor,” her voice lowered as her eyes, there sitting in Lilith’s side of the bed. “I’ve missed you and also...I wanted to say sorry.”

Flayn’s tears broke Lilith’s soft heart at first sight. If Dorothea wasn’t sleeping soundly in her arms, they would have been wrapping the girl in a tight bear hug. As if she noticed that, Flayn move to get closer to Lilith, carefully lying down by her side and passing her arm over the songtress’ figure to hug both like that.

“No, Flayn, no,” Lilith’s voice broke with that gesture and she fought back her tears. “The one being sorry is me, if it wasn’t for me your father and you would be here...everyone would be here.”

“My family took a stance, even if they knew it would led them to such fate,” Macuil talked again, his voice a bit softer this time, and moved to the side of the bed in which his niece was. “I think what my dear niece is trying to say...is that she is sorry that you had to bear with everything we caused and make you go through.”

Speechless as she was now, Lilith could only try to find Flayn’s hand over Dorothea’s back and intertwine their fingers together. 

“As a tactician many time through thousand years, since I was able to led my first battalion, I watched many people made decisions,” the man kept talking and Flayn only sobbed harder against Lilith’s neck. “And from the very beginning all of us, except Leann here, knew what my sister was doing when she allied with the first Adestrian.”

Macuil sighed deeply, trying to keep on talking and also trying to not give in to a thousand years’ held-back speech. 

“Indech and I fled and left, leaving behind everything to just die eventually...but many times we wanted to go back to them,” a short tired giggle escaped from his lips. “We didn’t though. I in particular didn’t because I knew nothing in my hands could help Seiros to stop grieving. Nor I couldn’t bring back my brother’s wife to his arms...nor protect my niece from the war and then from illness…” his green eyes were focused now in his hands, counting each light shine in the emeralds from his rings. “We all were selfish and in our selfishness brought more trouble than cure...and for that is why I also apologize.”

“But...how could you know Sei-Rhea,” the name felt from her lips as if she couldn’t bear to call her by her true name. “Would do all of that just to bring Sothis back.”

“Oh,” Macuil laughed a bit for that. “I underestimated my little sister there, if I’m frank with you. Thought she would give up soon, she got that from mother, but she also got the stubborn part of her as well. I didn’t give her enough credit with her magic, dark, white nor even the arcane…”

Flayn stopped from sobbing, still as if she was frozen, and then she looked at her uncle as if he had grown another head in the span of a couple minutes. That fierceness reminded Lilith she was Sothis’ family too, how her anger burnt bright.

“This is why father decided to stay, he did believe that she was capable of more than you and also believed that he could stop her. But he got blinded by his own empathy and also believed in her to the very end, even when he already knew the whole truth,” only once she had seen the young nabatean be like that, mad at how stoic and cold Lindhart could be. “Yeah, I do wanted to apologize with the professor for a great part of what you said, but also because I could have tried to stop everything instead of following everything you all said...because it was my ‘right’ to do so.”

Lilith’s head started to hurt more and more from that on, trying to focus in what was really happening, but doing only brought more pain. It burned as if it was a warning and then Macuil and Flayn froze in place suddenly. 

“Time is up, she knows,” the tactician’s voice was ever so thin and fragile and Flayn could only look at Lilith in despair and sorrow.

“Professor, please, tell Leonie that I’m sorry, that I do not blame her for what happened,” she quickly muttered, getting up from the bed and making Lilith to want go after her. “If there’s a next time, I’ll try to help with Thea,” Flayn’s voice was filled with fondness, her endless kindness dripping in each syllable. “Just...try to make her open up, easy her path until then.”

And then they were gone…

...as Lilith’s conciousness. 

When she opened her eyes, Lilith could only see the first day lights shine through the big windows. Her arms felt sore and her head felt numb, as if something hit her right in the base of the skull...but catching sight of Dorothea’s sleepy face soothe it all.

It only made Lilith to hold her closer, press a kiss on top of her head, and close her eyes again to try and discern what should she do from now on. 

She still didn’t know why she could see the nabateans, but she was glad the same for it because it helped her ease part of everything that she was bottling up. Maybe if she saw Sothis again, she could ask her some things that she never thought of asking, even maybe try to reassure her that everything was fine enough for her to talk to the others…

“Are you okay?” Dorothea’s voice was still a bit slurred with sleep. 

...but, for the time being, Lilith decided to focus in what was there on terrenal sight with her.

“Of course sweetheart,” her fingers combed with love a few strands of hair out of the woman’s face. “Tell me, would you want to stay in bed for the day?”

The little smile in Dorothea’s lips was more than enough to hold her in place in that moment.

“Oh, my dear love,” her still sleepy voice was tinted with a playful touch. “The question could be why wouldn’t I?”

**Author's Note:**

> some more pairings and headcanons will show up during this, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! I didn't list everything in the tags because i wanted to keep it clean, but you'll soon see more! I'll soon update the additional tags.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and keep on doing it as far as I take it!


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